I was writing about you
by let-them-say-what-they-will
Summary: A series of one-shots/drabbles inspired by T&S songs. Sometimes the inspiration will be obvious, sometimes they will be just things I thought listening to those songs. Enjoy.
1. Body Work

Tegan will be at my place for a couple of days, then we will start the new tour. She's doing something in my living room, I can hear her from there. But what the fuck is she doing? Jesus I need a coffee.

I stand up from my bed and open the door of my room, and there she is. She's jumping like a fucking monkey.

"Jesus Christ Tegan, what the hell are you doing?!" I ask her angrily, I see on the clock that it's just 9 in the morning.

She turns abruptly and flashes a smile, her forehead it's covered with sweat.

"What are you smiling at, you jerk? I was sleeping," I say to her, raising my voice.

Her smile fades away, and she stops her movements.

"I was just working out, maybe you should move your lazy ass so you wouldn't look like you've been hit by a wrecking ball," she says to me.

"Fuck you Tegan," I say coldly to her.

"I'm the one supposed to suffer from jet lag," she says in a low tone, but high enough for me to hear it.

"Shit," I say in a whisper. _Just two more days Sara, than you will be on a bus... SHIT_.

_**One Week Later**_

We are touring, it's exciting and things are going very well. Our performances are very good, and I can say our new songs sound better than in the first part of our tour. We're heading to Miami, where we will take a week break from the tour but we have a few shows before we reach our destination.

Tegan is still doing her crazy work out program. I think it's called Insanity. Yeah, she looks insane as she does that exercise, but I have to admit that it's funny to see her struggling trough the program. Out of breath she jumps, runs in place and bends and... all those things. I know I would never survive a routine like that.

She's doing it now, and I'm watching her. She's bending in front of me, and God, I have a beautiful view of her ass. Jesus, talking of asses... I miss Stacy so much. I haven't seen her in almost three weeks now. I just want to feel her lips on mine, to hug her and feel her warm body. _Fuck Tegan, you and your fucking ass. Fuck Fuck Fuck._

I think she had just finished with her daily program. She stands up from the floor and takes off her t-shirt. Her body is covered with a layer of sweat.

"Christ, Tegan... just do it into the bathroom," I yell at her, reaching for the coffee machine.

"Take it easy, we are alone and it's not like I'm naked, so shut the fuck up," she says, but I can hear in her voice that she's not angry, she's just having fun with me. I smile at her but give her a middle finger.

She goes toward the door of the bathroom to take a shower as I sit on the couch with a book. I see a quick movement and look in her direction just a moment before something hit my face. I yell in surprise and then I see it in my lap, it's her damn damp t-shirt, carrying the heavy smell of 45 minutes of intense workout. I look again at her in disbelief, and she starts to laugh at me.

"You're gross Tegan, you will pay for this," I say running toward her. But she's in the bathroom before I could reach her. I threw punches at the door for a few seconds, yelling at her even if I'm not truly angry. I can hear her laughing on the other side of the door. When I hear the water of the shower, I come back to the couch to read.

I can hear her humming in the shower and I smile, her voice is so sweet yet strong. I can feel my eyes getting heavy even though Iv'e only been awake only for a couple of hours. I put my book on the table and lie down, focusing on her voice. A few minutes later, half asleep, my mind gives me images of pale skin caressed by drops of water.

_**Two Weeks Later**_

We are in Miami, this is the last day of our break. I'm a little upset because Stacy was supposed to meet me here and stay with me for four days, but some unexpected work issues blocked her. So I am here, sharing a room with my sister. We are going through the same routine. I wake up finding Tegan doing her exercises. I've started to jog at the beginning of the week, when Stacy told me she wouldn't come. While she does her things, I go for a run and then we go out for lunch together.

I miss Stacy so much and I crave her presence. I spend hours talking with her on the phone but I want her physically closer. God, I think I'm even more clingy with my sister. I just need some human heat and she's here with me. She doesn't mind my behavior, she's always been clingy so I think she likes this closeness. And I'm really enjoying this time with Tegan, we talk a lot, joke and just have fun. I had missed her this way.

We are out for dinner now, just the two of us. She's has on a sleeveless shirt and I can see that her workout it's paying off.

"Hey Tee, that thing that you do is giving results," I say to her at the end of dinner, as we exit the restaurant.

"Yeah, I know, and I feel great. I can do anything," she says to me, flexing her muscles with a cocky smile.

"What about climb a tree, you monkey?" I say to her, and run away playfully. I see her start to chase me, but I'm faster and even if she is stronger, she has less endurance. I turn and start to laugh at her.

"Yeah, very useful those muscles when you can't even catch me," I say poking my tongue out.

I bump into someone and I turn around to apologize, and when I look back at Tegan, she's in front of me with a big smirk on her face. I smile at her just a moment before she bends to lift my body on her shoulder.

"Put me down Teeeeeeeeee," I yell to her but I can't stop laughing. Normally I would be annoyed, but the little alcohol in my system, and the new connection we made in the last few days, lets me enjoy this moment with her.

"Why don't you try to run now?" she says to me, spanking me playfully.

But her gesture does something to me, I feel a shock to my center and I can't stand it. I start to squirm.

"Tegan put me down," I say to her with a stern tone this time.

"You need to learn how to looooooseeeeeee," she says to me happily, bouncing me on her shoulder, just making things worse.

"FUCK, TEGAN, I SAID PUT ME DOWN," I yell at her, and she stops. She puts me down slowly and my breath it's short. A thing like that is not supposed to happen. _Oh Jesus FUCK._

"What the fuck is your problem?" she asks me sadly. I've just killed her mood, I know.

"Why you can't just fucking listen to me?" I say looking everywhere but her eyes, I still feel the heat on my cheeks.

"Fuck you Sara, I was joking," she said push passing me. She's upset and I can't blame her. And now that my body it's calm again, I feel bad for my reaction. But I was just confused about my bodys reaction to her action. I'm not supposed to get excited about my fucking sister.

I need Stacy and I need her soon, my frustration it's driving me crazy. _Fuck, my sister? Really?_

But I can't really understand, _am I like a hormonal teenager again?_

_**Four days later**_

We are on the road again, but things are cold with Tegan. Since my outburst, she's been cold with me. I know she's like that and soon she will be again the usual clingy Tegan, but I miss the way we were just few days ago. I don't know, it's so strange. I crave her closeness and I don't even know why. I find myself looking at her for long periods. Sometimes I just look at her, searching for the physical differences between us. I have to admit that she's beautiful, she's curvy and has meat in the right places, and she's growing stronger.

We are doing our sound check for the show we have tonight. We have a couple of days off after this, and Stacy is coming. I cant wait to see her, I want her, I need her. I don't really understand what got into me lately, it's not like I'm one of those people that always thinks about sex. But I feel like I'm hungry, starving. _Jesus what happening to me? I need Stacy._

_**Two days later**_

Stacy is gone, back to her work. I've really enjoyed her presence. We spent the whole time together and had a lot of fun. But my mind was wandering in other places. I think she noticed that even if she didn't complain. She knew that sometimes I stray.

Today Tegan and I had a couple of interviews and a radio show. We have time this evening because we don't have a show. I want to make it up to her. I miss her. I don't know why but even while my girlfriend was there, I thought a lot about Tegan. I missed her in a new way. I can't even explain to myself how or why. It's just the way it is.

She's watching some TV on our tour bus, and I'm in my bunk, reading.

"Tegan," I call her, coming out from my bunk. She looks at me without saying a word. She just stares at me, looking into my eyes. It makes me a little uncomfortable. It's not the joyful gaze she has most of the time. She's serious and a little sad. I feel bad, I feel as if its my fault. I smile to her.

"How about a dinner together? My treat," I say, trying to cheer her up. She looks at me intently for few seconds, as she's weighting my proposal. Then I see it, the sweet smile I've missed the last couple days. Now I know why I have missed her so much.

"How about some take away and a movie here? The boys are out..." she says smiling, and it felt like I haven't seen her happy for ages.

"Wonderful," I say, walking toward her and pulling her from her seat by her hands. She stood up and I catch her in a hug. It surprises the both of us, I'm not the one who gets physical in our relationship. But I just wanted to do that. As I saw her with that happy smile, I felt a wave of warmth and love washing over me and I just wanted to share that with her. I squeeze her a little and without knowing it, I take a deep breath inhaling her beautiful scent. _Oh God she smells so good._

"Are you ok, Sasa?" she asks to me, letting me go. I look at her and I can see the concern in her eyes. She's genuinely worried, and part of me thinks it's funny, part of me is happy she cares... but part of me it's sad that a little gesture like that, rises such feelings in her. _Am I that cold, that she gets worried about a hug?_ I don't want to think about it, so I smile at her.

"I had just missed your smile," I say, and I turn to walk toward the door, my words starting a fire in me that shows with the tint of pink on my cheeks. I hear her giggle a little then she follows me.

_**A week later**_

It's so damn hot today. It's early in the morning and I'm sweating. I can hear Tegan doing her exercise in the front of the bus. I don't know how she could, but I know the heat is hitting her, her breath is shorter than usual. I come out from my bunk to take a bottle of water and...

_Oh my God..._

She's doing it in a pair of shorts and her sport bra. I can see the muscles on her back as she bends and lies on the floor, does a couple of push-ups and then jumps to her feet again. Her arms are stronger. Her abs are visible under the layer of pale, sweaty skin. I follow the run of a drop of sweat, from under her bra, just making a turn near her belly-button, to disappear in the fabric of her shorts. The fire starting on my face is spreading down my body, hitting my core.

The sight of my sweaty twin sister is turning me on. _Oh fuck, I need to go._

I find that I'm holding my breath, and when I exhale, it comes out more like a whimper. She turns and I can feel my face burning the moment my eyes slip to her chest, rising and falling faster than normal. I go to the bathroom and change in a matter of seconds. I exit to find Tegan sitting on the chair, she looks at me the moment I open the door. There is a strange light in her eyes.

"Are you ok?" she asks to me, and I hear a teasing tone in her voice. She gives me a smirk. _What the fuck Tegan?_

"Peachy," I say, going toward the door of the bus. I go out without looking back at her, even if I can feel her gaze on me.

As soon as I'm out of the bus, I start to run slowly. I'm looking for a quiet place to be with myself, and I saw a park nearby, yesterday. When I reach the park I start to run faster, trying to escape my thoughts but images of my sister are hunting me. I thought it was from my sexual frustration, but she's still on my mind even after I had my days with Stacy. I start to run faster and faster, trying to escape from myself, but I can't. I don't know how much I run when my lungs start to burn, and suddenly my breath becomes short, too short. I slow down and reach for a bench to sit, but my breath won't calm, indeed, it becomes more erratic. I take my puffer and inhale a couple of times, I never go out without it, especially when I go for a run. I know my asthma could hit me anytime, especially when I'm doing physical activity or if I'm very stressed and tense. And God, right now I'm all of the above.

When my breath is steady again, and the panic leaves me, my sister is on my mind again. _Fuck You_.

I go back to the bus, my lungs are still burning even if I haven't any real problem breathing. When I open the door, Tegan is there, she has changed in a pair of skinny jeans and a simple white oversized shirt. Her feet are bare and I can see her toes moving, and I can't hold back my smile. When the door closes, she turns to face me with a smile. But her smile fades as she looks at me. She stands up from the chair and take a few steps toward me.

"Are you ok, Sasa?" she asks me, and I can feel in her tone, and in her eyes, that she's worried.

"Yes Tegan, I'm perfectly fine, why you keep asking that?" I say annoyed. I don't want her to babysit me, and in this moment the use of that name just pisses me off even more.

"It's just... you are so pale..." she says, looking at the ground. I don't know why but to see her act so shyly makes me feel bad for my reaction. She was just worried. _Why do I have to be such a bitch? It's not her fault if I..._

"I had an attack during my run," I say, passing her and sitting on the couch.

"My God, Sara... and you said you were ok," she said taking a seat near me.

"I had my puffer with me, don't worry. It wasn't that bad..." I say to her, trying to reassure her.

She turns to me and I look at her smiling weakly. She reaches out her hand to tuck a strand of my sweaty bangs behind my ear. Her touch is burning my skin and my gaze slides to her lips for just a moment, then I'm looking in her wonderful eyes again. She's looking at me intently. I feel the tension building up between us, I want to run away but I can't move. Her hand slowly traces my cheek and I can feel us both inching closer, so slowly that I'm not sure this it's happening. But then she blinks her eyes and lets her hand fall to her side.

"You need a shower," she says under her breath, and I can see that her cheeks are now rosy, and I know, from the heat I feel on my face, that my face is burning.

I stand up without any further word and go to my bunk to take some clothes. We have a show tonight, I need a shower, but mostly, I need to calm down.

_**The Next Day**_

_Muscles are flexing and relaxing, I see skin being stretched, following the movement of her body. I see drops of sweat tracing the outline of those muscles. I can't see her face but I can recognize the tattoos on those strong arms. I reach out with my hand and touch the small of her back. Her body stops, the only things moving now are those drops. I see her turn around to face me, I can't see her face and I don't know why, but I know who she is, and I can't care less, I just know what I want. _

_I touch her arm from her elbow, going up, but when I reach her shoulder, she takes my wrist with her hand, firmly, almost painfully. I try to withdraw but her grip is strong. She pulls me to her and my body smashes into hers. I can feel her skin on mine, and only then I know I'm naked. She lets my hand go and I feel her arms around my back as she embraces me. My center comes in contact with her thigh and unconsciously I spread my legs and her thigh pushes further. I moan when I feel the pressure, and before I know it, I'm grinding against her. _

"_Shit!" I heard her voice..._

"Fuck!" I heard again, followed by the sound of bones creaking. I open my eyes and the first things I become conscious of are: one, I was dreaming; two, I'm fucking wet.

I can feel my pulse in my center. It' almost hurts. I need to go to the bathroom.

When I open the curtains of my bunk, I see her. She's on the floor, her arms are supporting the upper half of her body as she pushes her hips down. I can feel every muscle tensed, her head is arched back, and I can see her tendons.

The sight sends a shock directly to my core. It's killing me, and I can't stop my hand. I cup myself under my pajama and make a little pressure on my center. As hard I could try, I can't hold back it.

"Oh my God... fuck..." I moan, and I know I'm loud enough for her to hear me in this small space. I'm just glad the boys aren't here.

"Sar..." she turns abruptly stops her words when she sees me. Her eyes widen when they fall on my hand in my pants. It's like the shock in my center is more powerful than that the thought of her catching me.

My mouth falls open when I can't stop my hand between my legs, where I can feel my pulse. But it lasts just a moment. Then my eyes are on hers and I'm lost. Theres something in her eyes that I can't read.

"Oh fuck..." I say, and the desire is not the only feeling in my voice as I start to cry.

I take my hand out of my pants and I'm embarrassed at the feeling of my soaked fingers. I can even smell my own arousal.

I stand up and run toward the bathroom. I can see her head turn as she follows my movements. I shut the door and start to cry. _What the fuck is happening?_

Ten minutes later my tears calm down and I start to strip off my night clothes to take a shower. As the water hits my body, I can feel my muscles relax, and my mind soon follows. I start to wash my body, and when my hand reaches my mound, images from my dream comes back. I exhale a trembling breath as my fingers start to circle my clit. I feel my own wetness on my hand as I start to circle myself faster. A flash of her muscles tensing, her thigh between my legs are showing in my mind as I lean against the wall with my head on my forearm.

I see her again, as she's on her hands, pushing her hips down, but I'm there, underneath her body, and she's pushing down on me, her center against mine.

I enter myself with two fingers, thrusting hard. My palm hits my clit with every thrust, and soon my entire body is moving. I'm riding my own hand at the thought of my sister.

When I reach my orgasm, I bite hard on my arm to stop myself from crying out her name.

When I'm back on Earth, I smile. But I can feel my tears on my lips. I'm crying and smiling at the same time for what I've done, for what I feel.

When I come out from the bathroom, I'm alone on the bus. Tegan is gone. I feel ashamed for what has happened and suddenly I feel the need to cry again, but I fight to hold back my tears.

I go to the front of the bus to make myself a cup of coffee, but I see a cup on the table.

There's a piece of paper near it.

"See you later," the paper says and there is a little smile drawing near the words. I recognize Tegan's messy handwriting.

This leaves me very confused. It's the first time shes done something like that, and she did it the day she had caught me looking at her with my hand in my pants? I can't understand her, but the only thing that matters, is that she isn't mad at me. _I hope_.

_**That Night**_

"_Oh my God, yes..." I say, my voice is trembling. I feel her inside of me. She's pushing deeper and deeper as her mouth is on my neck. She sucks on my pulse point and a moan escapes my lips._

_I feel her mouth going down, kissing every inch of my skin, setting every part of me on fire. I move desperately under her, squirming, arching. I'm begging her with every part of me. And soon, her lips are where I need them the most. I feel them wrap around my bundle of nerves as she starts to suck gently. I arch my back again as she starts to move faster inside of me, to lick and suck harder. I start to scream her name._

"_Tegan... Tee, oh... oooh fuck," I feel my orgasm approaching._

"_Sara..." I hear her whisper..._

"_Sasa... please," she says as I came into her mouth._

"Sara... please... wake up..." I hear her voice again, clearly this time.

I open my eyes and her hand is on my arm. I reach out with my hands, cup her face and pull her. My lips meet with hers and I feel a shock running over my entire body.

I let her go and open my eyes. Then I realize it. _This isn't a dream._

Instantly my eyes start to water and I feel sick to my stomach. I've kissed my sister... I have really kissed Tegan. I did it and it wasn't a dream.

Her eyes are fixed on mine and I'm just waiting for her outburst of rage, I know it's coming. And when I see her hand moving, I close my eyes waiting for the blow. I don't even try to defend myself... whatever is coming, I deserve it.

But it doesn't come, instead I feel a damp hand warping around my neck and pulling me.

Our lips crush together hard. She kisses me with force and I feel a burning passion in this kiss. My heart starts to run when I let out a moan and feel her tongue sliding into my mouth. I suck on her tongue and the grunt she frees in my mouth sends shivers down my spine.

Suddenly as soon as it started, it ended. She breaks the kiss abruptly, and she looks for a moment at me. Her eyes are full of lust and desire, and I feel that what I've experienced lately, is nothing compared to the fire I see in her eyes. Then she goes away, back to her bunk.

I can feel her sobbing lightly from my bunk, and I want to go to her and console her, but I don't know how. I don't know what to do. I thought it was just me, but there is something inside of her that I can't understand. The fire I saw in her eyes was so powerful that it scared me.


	2. Body Work - 2

_**Two Days Later**_

When I woke up again, I found her bunk empty and her things gone. Panic set in me as I went to the front. There I found Ted, I asked him about Tegan and he said she had already checked-in. I had forgot. We have a couple of days off and we were staying at a hotel.

I exhale in relief. But the sense of peace didn't last long. I hadn't seen her for the entire day yesterday and I've started to worry. The guys said she was ok, she had written to them to let them know what she was doing.

When I woke up today, I went to her room with my spare key, but she isn't there. I don't know how to explain this feeling of emptiness in my heart. I am afraid I'm loosing her, I'm afraid I have crossed the line and it broke us.

I thought about her all day long. I thought about the things I saw into her eyes. At the beginning I was scared I had done the worst thing on earth, but not for the reasons people could think. I was afraid because I wasn't sure my fire was mirroring hers, when I saw her eyes, I saw lust and passion... but I saw love too. And I thought that my feelings weren't as deep and powerful as hers.

I saw in her eyes a fire that had been burning for years, and it scared me. I was scared I wasn't able to return her passion. I felt so bad.

But the day has passed, and when I woke up this morning, the feeling of emptiness had grown. It felt like half of me was missing.

I've never thought about love but how could I describe this feeling now that I'm afraid I'm losing her? I thought it was just frustration, but it couldn't be just that. I wouldn't feel so broken and lost if it were just lust. Right? But now I'm just empty. I know it's irrational, it's just two days, but it's enough to make me feel like shit.

I'm eating my dinner alone, and the only thing I could think about, is her. Her eyes when I kissed her, her smirk when she saw me staring at her during her exercise, her face when she caught me with my hand in my pants.

How could she manage to hide her feelings for so long? And am I really prepared to show my feelings? Am I strong enough? Are my feelings strong enough?

There's only one way to know it. And tonight I will make my move. I know I could break us definitively, but breaking all of the sudden or breaking painfully slow, would either make any difference? If we have to break, we will. But if I can save us, I will.

_**Later That Night**_

I stand up from my bed, it's one in the morning. I take my spare card to Tegan's room and I take a deep breath as I caress it with my fingers. I know it's now or never. I'm so scared and excited at the same time. I never had this kind of feeling for anyone. Not this powerful. I know I could ruin everything with Tegan, but if that is the case, I already did when I kissed her.

Contrariwise, if she feels as I feel, this is our only option. I don't know why I'm so scared, I'm sure I saw something in her eyes, but as I walk in down the hall, toward her door, I start to doubt. Maybe it was just my lust, but she kissed me and that is undeniable. As I slide the card to open her door, I'm shaking. My mind is running and I don't know what to think anymore.

_Will I hurt her? Will I kill us? _

I know I'm risking all that I have. All that we have. Our band, our sisterhood, our lives. I could ruin everything. As I look at her in her bed, I think that maybe, if I just let it go, time will work for us and we will never talk or acknowledge what happened and we will just go on.

I'm so confused that I turn to go away as all of my determination is gone. As I touch the knob, I hear her voice. _Too late._

"Sar... what are you doing here?" she says in her sleepy voice. I feel my heart melt.

"Nothing, I was just checking on you, go back to sleep," I say to her without turn, my voice is not as firm as I hoped.

"Sara?" she calls me again, and I turn this time. She's standing from her bed

"I was worried," I say looking at her feet.

"What were you worried about?" she asks me... taking a few steps toward me.

"I haven't seen you in two days..." I say, and as I look at her, I see that light in her eyes again. And it gives me some confidence. I take a couple of steps in her direction.

"We are in a foreign Country, Tegan..." I say to her, taking a couple of steps more.

"The guys knew I was ok," she says smirking, I know she's right. I knew she was safe. I take another step and now I'm in front of her.

"Why are you here, Sara?" she says in my ear, her teasing tone and her breath on my earlobe send shivers down my entire body. I can feel the goosebumps on my skin as my heart start to beat faster.

I put my hand on her waist and push her against the wall. I press my body to hers and she lets out a moan. I pull my body back and throw her shirt away. Now she's only in her pants.

Even if she is the one almost naked, I feel shy looking at her. Her body leaves me breathless. Her exercises are paying off. Her stomach shows the lines of her abs, just that sight sends shock to my core. I look at her chest, and I can see she's breathing a little faster even if when I look in her eyes, she gives me a gaze full of confidence. She knows she's affecting me, and she loves it.

I blush when my eyes meet hers, and I don't know why but for a moment I feel angry. She puts her hands on my waist but I quickly take her wrists and pin her hands above her head. She looks surprised. I smile at her expression as a little more confidence comes back. This is not the right time to be shy. I took her wrists with one hand, and when she tries to move from the wall, I put my free hand on her tummy and push her against the wall again, a little harder this time.

I look in her eyes and I see that my actions wake something in her. She wants me to dominate her, I can read it on her face. I never thought she was the type who liked to be dominated, I thought she was the dominant one. Not that I really mind, I like this.

I look at her for a long moment, and finally, after two days, I kiss her again. Even if my previous actions were rough, I want her to know that I'm not here just because I need her body, I want her to know that I'm here with my heart too. I kiss her slowly, sweetly. I feel her hands moving and I free her. Her hands go to the back of my neck in no time. She starts to play with my hair, and her touch sends shivers down my spine. I put my hands on her sides and start to caress her skin gently.

I pull away and we look at each other for a long minute. Our breaths are unsteady and hers hits my face with every exhale. Then I see a tear rolling down her right eye. Just one single tear. I smile for a moment and then my face turns serious again. I wipe the tear with my thumb, and after a moment I crush our lips together again.

This time I kiss her hard, with passion, with all the power of the fire she started in me. I want to set her on fire as I am.

Our kiss becomes heated and when I not-so-gently slip my tongue into her mouth, she lets out a sound that turns me on even more. It's like a moan and a groan all together, and I feel the vibration on my own tongue. I arch my back and push my hips onto her. She arches too and it starts a war, we fight until I push her against the wall once more, breaking the kiss for much needed air. But my lips are on hers again, and I bite gently her bottom lip before I slip my tongue in her mouth again. This time I let our tongues dance together as my hands find their way to her chest. I cup her bare chest and massage her breasts. I feel her nipples harden under my touch. The feeling of her soft skin makes me want to move my head down and lick her sensitive skin. But I want to taste every inch of her.

I broke the kiss again and inch closer to her ear.

"You are so beautiful, Tegan," I say to her. I don't know why I say that. I just know that it's true and I hope she knows I'm not talking only about her body.

When my words leave my lips, I can feel the heat radiating from her cheeks. She's blushing and I know it without even having to look at her. I kiss her jawline to her chin, then I peck her on the cheek, on her nose, and then on her lips.

I pull away and take a look at her face, I see in her eyes that I'm driving her crazy with my switch from sweet to rough and passionate. I like it. I love that now she knows I can be both.

I move her hair from her forehead and then slide my hand gently down, cupping her jaw and rubbing my thumb on her skin. I slide my hand down further, and when my hand is on the side of her neck, with a quick movement I attack the other side with my lips. She instantly tilts her head giving me more skin to explore. And I do. I suck on her skin as her hands tug at my hair every time I hit a good spot. I bite her and ease the pain with my tongue, then I bite a little harder on her pulse point, and she rewards me with a loud moan.

As I trace her collarbone with my tongue, biting time to time, one of my hands leave her breast and painfully slowly goes down. I trace the line of her abs with the tip of my fingers. It's a ghost touch that raise goosebumps on her skin. I kiss my way down to her chest, licking the valley between her breasts. Then I move my head to her left breasts and kiss her nipple. I just a peck, but she arches her back asking for more. I start to kiss her breasts in wide circles, sucking her soft skin in my mouth. When my circle of kisses reaches her nipples again, I take it into my mouth and suck hard. She gasps and moans again as my hand tease her other nipple. I bite her bulb gently then kiss it again. I give the same treatment to her other breast while my hand slides on her back, and down on her ass. I squeeze it and she arches again. My other hand is now cupping her through her underwear. I feel her grinding against my hand to gain some kind of friction as I circle her nipple with my tongue.

I know I'm driving her crazy so I give her something. I start to rub her through her pants and she moans again.

"Sara..." she says tugging at my hair.

I look up at her and her face is flushed. She's begging me with her eyes and I smile at her. I start to kiss my way down, kissing her muscular tummy without breaking our eye contact. When I dip my tongue in her belly button I feel her squirm and she tilts her head back.

Soon my lips meet her underwear and I kiss her mound through the fabric. She gasps and arches to meet my mouth. I pull back and she looks down at me again.

Finally I slide her pants down, slowly. When she's naked, I look at her most intimate place. A place I'm not supposed to see. Her scent intoxicates me instantly, and the sight of her dripping folds makes my mouth water. I take one of her legs and lift it to rest on my shoulder and start to kiss her inner thigh.

"Sara... please..." she begs me. Just what I was waiting for.

I look at her folds and I can actually see her throbbing clit. I can see it pulsate with desire. I look up at her and she looks at me in the moment I wrap my lips around her swollen button.

"Oh my God..." she cries, her head tilts back again, exposing her neck, with her tendons and veins.

I bite her lightly and then suck again, and she starts to moan loudly. I go down with my head and slide my tongue into her. She arches her back and pushes me further with her hands. One of my hands finds its way between her legs and I start to draw quick circles around her clit with my thumb.

She starts to ride my tongue frantically, and soon I start to feel her tremble, her juice pouring out into my mouth. As she gets closer to the edge, I replace my tongue with two fingers and suck one last time on her bundle of nerves.

"Oh my... fuck... Sar... oh..." she tries to say.

She moves roughly against my hand and I kiss her again as she tries to take me deeper into her. She breaks the kiss, trying to breath. Then she came, and it's one of the most amazing views. Her head falls back against the wall with a light thud.

"SARA..." she screams out my name, and it feels like it had never sounded better.

I can see her veins pulsate under the layer of sweaty skin, I suck on her neck as she's riding out her orgasm. Her movement comes to a stop, and after a couple of seconds I slide my fingers out of her.

She's clinging to me, and I hug her tight, giving her the support she needs. I take her face in my hands and look at her. I've never seen her as beautiful as she is now. The light of the moon and the afterglow, make her look like the light is coming directly from her skin. She's an angel. I smile at her and kiss her sweetly. She puts her head on my shoulder and a minute later her breath is regular again. But she doesn't move away. I just stay still, with her in my arms.

As my heart came to beat at a steady pace again, I feel her lips on the skin of my shoulder. After a few seconds I feel her lips again. Soon her lips meet the skin of my neck and my pulse starts to speed up again. My breath became rugged in a matter of seconds, and suddenly I'm conscious about my own needs. I can feel my clit throbbing almost painfully. And I know my folds are drenched. I can feel the pool in my pants.

With a fluid movement, she shifts our position and now I'm against the wall. She's kissing and biting the sensitive skin on my neck. When she reaches my ear she licks the skin just above it, and then takes my earlobe in her mouth, I can't hold back a loud moan.

"Shit..." I say.

She pushes me against the wall and for a moment I lose my breath. Then she traces my jawline with her tongue, sending waves of shocks to every part of my body.

When her lips meet mine, she starts gently but soon deepens the kiss. There's no fight and I can't do anything but let her dominate my mouth. When the kiss becomes heated, she pushes her thigh between my legs and I gasp. As soon as her lips leave mine, I let out a moan. She pushes further and I start to grind against her thigh.

"Oh God..." I whimper.

Suddenly, I feel her hand slide down under my thigh and lift it up. A moment later I feel the other hand doing the same. I get the hint and jump a little, wrapping my legs around her. Her hands are holding me up. I can't believe how strong she is. I look at her and she smirks. I take her bottom lip between mine and suck on it. She leans me against the wall and starts to press her hips into me. I feel the pressure on my center.

"Oh fuck... Tee..." I manage to say.

How foolish I was to think I could dominate her. She just let me do that because she wanted to. I smile in the kiss and she breaks it again and looks at me. Then she turns and takes me to her bed. She lies my body on her mattress, and then she crawls on top of me, straddling me.

She starts to kiss me again and her warm tongue is caressing mine. I suck on her tongue and she groans. I put my hands on her back and pull her down. Her pelvis meets mine, and a wave of pleasure washes over me. I raise my hips to meet hers but she pulls away.

She takes my hands from her back and pins them at both sides of my head.

Her eyes are so full of lust and desire that I almost came just looking at her. The fire I've started inside of her it's still there, and now she is the one who wants to show me how hot it is. I know that her dominant side is taking control and there's nothing I could do about it. Anyway, there's nothing I want more than this.

She stands up again and rips off my clothes, leaving me completely bare. She stands there, looking at me. With all the things I've just done to her, I feel shy under her gaze. And as she takes in every inch of my body, I blush violently. My hands go automatically to cover my body, and when I do, she jumps on the bed again, straddling me again and pinning my hands again above my head. She takes my wrists with one hand as the other finds her way to my chest.

She teases my right nipple with her thumb as her other hand is holding her weight. She starts to kiss my neck again, and when she bites my pulse point, I arch my back and my body meets hers. She pushes me gently down with her hand, that is now on my stomach.

She kisses my collarbone while her hand is drawing random figures on my skin.

When her mouth reaches my breasts, she starts to kiss them, licking and biting and sucking. I instantly know the hell I put her through before. My core is aching with desire, every muscle of my body is screaming for release.

I start to squirm underneath her and she knows instantly what I need. She pushes her hips down and starts to rub her pelvis into mine, without her mouth leaving my breasts. She kisses her way back to my lips again, leaving a trail of fire. I start to move with her as my nails scratch the skin of her back. She hisses pushing harder.

"Oh my... Tee... ohhh... fuck..." I moan under my breath.

I feel the familiar feeling building in the pit of my stomach. And in that moment she pulls away, and I groan at the loss. But a second later, her hand is between my legs. She rubs my clit with the perfect amount of pressure.

"Oh Tegan... Oh yes..." I feel the pleasure hit me in powerful waves.

She rubs me for few more moments and then she slides two fingers into me. I feel my walls instantly clench around her fingers, sucking her in.

"Oh FUCK... Tee..." I look at her in her eyes as she starts to push inside of me.

She thrusts harder and deeper, and without knowing it, my hips are moving, meeting her movements, to take her in even deeper. She kisses me again with passion as my body crashes against her every time she moves into me. But I feel like I don't have enough of her.

"Tee... I need..." I try to say but I can't talk. She looks at me searching my face, for a moment I see a worried look. Maybe she thinks she's hurting me.

"Tee... more... please," I say looking at her.

She smiles at me at with the next thrust, she adds a third finger.

"Oh God... yes Tee... yes..." I hiss out through clenched teeth.

She starts to push faster, hitting my clit with her palm every time. I move more frantically against her as our lips battle. When I'm almost there, I break the kiss, and my head falls back, exposing my neck. She attacks it with her teeth and lips instantly, and after a couple of more thrusts, I fall into a complete bliss.

"FUCK... Tee," I scream out loud.

She takes her fingers out and puts them in front of me. I lick them clean. Then she kisses me.

"I want to taste you," she whispers in my ear. My breath starts to speed up immediately and I gulp.

Her head is between my legs in no time, and her tongue finds its way inside of me, collecting every drop op my cum. I feel my body shake and trembles as she starts to tease my clit with her tongue.

Then she takes it into her mouth and starts to suck and lick. My hypersensitive button sends shocks through my whole body but she doesn't stop.

I'm a trembling mess when I come again in her mouth. She drinks all of me, and she gives a final kiss to my clit before coming up back to me.

She kisses me one more time and then she rolls over, lying on her back.

I turn on my side and rest my head on her shoulder, placing my hand flat on her stomach. She starts to draw random figures on my back, and for the first time I feel really safe and at peace.

Neither of us talk for a long time, then she breaks the silence.

"I was waiting for you, but I thought you were never coming," she said looking at the ceiling.

"You knew how I felt?" I ask, looking at her. She just nods.

"How?" I say, and she looks at me.

"Because I felt like that half of my life," she says, and I feel my cheeks burning.

I stay silence for some time.

"Why didn't you say anything after I kissed you?" I ask her breaking the silence again. She takes her time to find the words.

"I think I was scared, it happened so fast that I wasn't sure about why it happened. I thought I would have lost you if I had brought the subject up. But I couldn't deny what had happened.

I needed some time and I thought you needed it too. So I just waited. I felt so scared. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you. But I needed to know that this was what you really wanted, " she says, always looking at me.

"I've never wanted anything more than this... anyone more than you," I say, kissing her cheek. She smiles and looks up again.

"I've never been more sure about anything," I say, and when she turns to look at me, I kiss her lips.

The room falls silent again, and soon we both drift into sleep, my body half sprawled on hers.


	3. They're waiting for you

Six months have passed since we... we ended what we had. I don't really know what we had. I can't name it. It was funny and hot, but then something changed. It lasted just a couple of months. Then it was like we became distant, or maybe what we had just faded away. She was always under the spotlight with our friends, she said I was boring because I was calmer then her, so she started to leave me behind, coming to me when things out were even more boring than being with me. It's something that happens I guess.

But that doesn't mean I don't love her anymore. She's my sister, after all. And I will always love her.

And now, here we are, she's here, in my room. Crying about this guy she's dating. After... us, she dated a couple of guys. Nothing serious, she'd been with them just a couple of weeks. But she's been with Jeremy for two months now. Sometimes I feel sad about all of this. I don't know why. I have a girlfriend, I'm dating a girl named Mel, we've been together for three months now. But there's something about seeing Tegan with other guys, that makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it's for the very fact that they are men. I thought she was like... like me. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was just her experiment, and she didn't felt it right? These kind of thoughts sometimes hit me and I feel upset.

But she's here now, tears running down her cheeks. How can I refuse to comfort her? I love her, she's my sister and I don't want her to feel hurt. I want to take all the things that hurt her and throw them away.

"Tegan, what happened?" I ask her for the third time.

She looks at me without a word. It starts to become annoying. I really want to help her but what can I do if she refuses to talk to me?

I reach out my hand to wipe her tears away, but when my fingers touch her skin, she jerks away.

"Don't touch me, Sara?" she says abruptly.

I stand up sighing. We can't talk, I can't touch her to comfort her... what the hell does she want from me then?

"Tegan, why the hell are you here if you don't want to talk with me?" I say harshly.

She looks up at me. She looks hurt but I bet she can see in my face that I'm hurt too.

We had something together, and now she can't even talk to me. I miss her, sometimes I really miss her to the point that I feel empty, and now all I want to do is to hug her and give her my heat to calm her, but I know she wouldn't let me. I feel frustrated and that makes me feel angry.

"Tegan, go..." I say to her. I turn my gaze away from her. I know I would see her face turn even darker. But there's no way I can help her right now.

She stands up from her seat and leaves my room. She goes into hers and slams the door.

After a few minutes I go to her door and hear her sobbing. It breaks my heart to know she's sad. But what can I do?

I go downstairs, take a seat on the couch and watch some TV to distract myself, but after half an hour, I know I can't concentrate on anything. As I go to the basement, I think about Tegan, about how I felt safe in her arms, how right it felt and how soon I lost her. It seems like I've lost what we had before _us_ too.

Mom is away for the weekend, so I take a six pack of beer and go upstairs again. I remember that alcohol always helped us to ease our nerves. Even our first time was helped by the liquor. Not that we were drunk. We were in that stage when we felt that comforting heat and a little lightheaded. That was when she spoke to me.

She told me that I was beautiful, she always envied my face even if we were so similar. She said I was the lucky one between us, at least talking about our features.

Then she asked me the permission to kiss my lips. I felt my heart skip a beat at her words. I'd never thought about kissing her until she asked me. But after her words, I felt like it was my biggest desire, like a dream coming true. I let her. That was the first time our lips met, our tongues danced with each other.

Two months after, we were bored of each other. Or better, she was bored of me.

I knock on her door but she doesn't answer. I know she's not asleep. I can still hear her sob. It's been an hour now, and I'm not surprised to feel my heart ache at her pain.

I open the door a crack and she looks my way. I slide the pack in the crack and she smiles at me. I enter her room and sit on the floor near her, our heads leaned back on the bed. I crack open a beer and hand it to her. She takes it from me smiling, and then she takes a long sip.

I open another one and drink.

After two beers she starts to talk.

She says he is trying to win her over with money and affection, but the truth is that she doesn't feel a thing. And she feels sick about that because the guy is great and caring and she was trying so hard to feel things, but the feelings aren't there.

We take the third beer and she leans her head on my shoulder. I look at her and I can tell she's falling asleep. Her eyes are heavy, and mine are too. I let my eyes close.

When I open my eyes again, she's near me with one of my hands in hers, a few minutes pass like that, and I can feel my heart beat a little faster. She's looking at my fingers, tracing them with hers. I feel a little embarrassed, mostly because she's affecting other parts of my body with her touch.

I let out a trembling breath and for the first time she knows I'm awake. She looks deeply into my eyes and then she stands up pulling me with her, sitting me on her bed.

"Your hands are so soft Sara," she says looking at me for a moment, then looking down to our hands again.

"Have you ever thought that maybe that is whats wrong with him?" I say. And I don't even know why I'm saying that. I always thought she was doing the wrong things dating guys. Maybe that was why she wasn't happy.

She looks at me with her big eyes. She so focused that it looks like she's trying to read my mind. I smile shyly and embarrassed. Then I look away because her gaze it too strong for me to handle.

"His hands aren't soft as yours," she says, again.

She leads my hand to her mouth and starts to kiss the back of it. Her lips are so soft and warm against my skin.

She kisses every knuckle, then she kisses the length of my index and middle fingers and then she kisses my fingertips. I can feel the shock her lips send to my heart every time they touch my skin.

She leads my hand to her cheek, nuzzling into my palm.

"Your touch it's so warm, even when your hands are cold," she says, kissing my palm. I feel my cheeks burn as she looks into my eyes. I'm not sure of what I see in her eyes. They are so full of emotion. There is love, but there is fear and sadness too. I don't know how to react to all of this. And the alcohol in my system isn't helping me very much.

She leaves my hand but I don't move it from her face. With my fingertips I trace her face.

"Your touch is so light," she says to me, closing her eyes for a moment. I can see her cheeks turning pink. She takes my other hand leading it under her shirt, up to her breast. I hold my breath for a moment. She squeezes my hand a little causing my hand to squeeze her breast. A choked sound leaves my mouth and she looks at me again. I'm blushing, but her face is on fire.

She leaves my hand and I slide it to her side. Her skin it's so soft and warm. I can feel my breath tremble. She's looking at me so intensely that I can't breath anymore. My heart is pumping so fast that I'm afraid that if I don't do something, it will explode.

"Why can't he touch me so gently?" she asks me. I open my mouth to say something.

_Because he doesn't love you as much as me._ But I can't say that to her, so I close my mouth again without a word. But she's watching me so intently that I'm sure she could see it in my eyes.

She takes my face with her hands and she leans in to kiss me. Our lips meet, and I'm lost. She kisses me so sweetly that my heart melts, she had never kissed me like this, even when we had what we had. She had never showed me so many feelings in just one kiss. And I do the same, I put all of my feelings in this kiss.

When she pulls away, I can feel my own tears on my lips. I'm crying.

"Why can't he kiss me so lovingly?" she says smiling a little, and wiping my tears away.

She lays me down on her bed, gently taking away my shirt. I'm not even wearing a bra, so I feel very exposed. She straddles me and I cover my chest with my arms, embarrassed even though this isn't the first time she has seen me like that.

She smiles so sweetly as she takes away her own shirt, and takes my wrists gently. She pins my hands above my head, intertwining our fingers, then presses our bodies together. She's wearing her bra, and I feel my nipples harden at the friction with the fabric covering her chest. A strangled moan leaves my throat and she smiles again.

"Why can't his body feel so right against mine?" she asks me, and I'm unable to form a sentence, but it doesn't matter, her lips are on mine again and I couldn't say anything even if I wanted to.

She starts to kiss my neck gently, then my chest.

Before I can think about it, we are naked, and she's making love to me. And it feels like the first time. And in a way, it is. We had sex more than few times, but this is the first time we are putting our hearts into it.

She touches me so softly, it's nothing like we have done before. She takes her time exploring me, touching every inch of my skin with her hands and lips. My skin is burning and her fingers are setting me on fire. It's something so new and intense that I start to cry.

She stops for a moment, looking at me concerned. When she withdraws her hands from me, I open my eyes and I can see the concern in her gaze. In that moment I realize that this is the first time she did something like that. I see in her eyes how much she cares. She cares about me, about how I feel in this moment, about how I will feel later. As I look into her eyes, I know I'm falling for her.

I take her hands and kiss her palms, then I slide them, caressing my cheeks. I tilt my head back and slide her hands down, her fingers brushing my neck. I go down and place her hands on my breasts. I know my face is red as I look in her eyes again. I leave her hand to cup her jaw and pull her to me, to kiss her again.

Her concern is gone, replaced with lust and love.

Her hands trail down, and when she touches my center, something inside me explodes.

She's touching me so gently that is driving me crazy. I start to squirm underneath her, and she gets it. I love what she's doing to me but I need something more, I need to feel more, and as she looks in my eyes, she knows. She starts to work her fingers deeper and harder, her mouth bites and sucks on my skin, leaving marks.

I come on her hand, harder than ever. I've never had such a powerful orgasm, because I've never had such feelings for anyone before.

She rolls off of me and lies down on her side, looking at me.

"Why can't I love him as much I love you?" she says so softly that it's almost inaudible. Her eyes go wide and suddenly I can see a worried look on her face, like she didn't mean to let those words slip from her mouth.

Before I have the time to say a word, she shifts on her other side, giving me her back. I'm a little taken aback by her actions. After a minute I'm ready to go away, because I don't really know what is happening and whats wrong. I'm just totally confused. When I sit on the bed, ready to go, I feel the mattress lightly shaking, and when I look at her, I can see her body shaking like she's sobbing.

I look at her for few seconds, then I lay down again, on my side. I slide an arm around her waist and pull her, pressing her back to my front. Her warm body melts perfectly with mine. Her heat feels so comforting.

"Are you leaving me?" she asks my through her sobs. I squeeze her a little and kiss the back of her neck.

"Only if you don't want me to stay," I say to her in a whisper, directly in her ear. I feel her hand intertwining her fingers with the hand I have placed flat on her tummy. She squeezes it lightly as I kiss her cheek.

For the first time, we let ourselves sleep together, my body and my heat protecting her dreams.


End file.
